Lisa Reincarnated

Growing up, I had two different sets of friends: my school friends, and my block friends. Obviously, my school friends were fellow classmates, and my block friends were different ages, but we all hung out together on our block. When I was about 8 or 9, I had a friend named Lisa, who lived across the street from me. She was 3 years older, blonde, pretty and I looked up to her. She even taught me how to ride a bike.

But Lisa was my sadistic friend. She was the ring leader when the kids on the block decided to pick on me. I told her I had a crush on a boy in class, and she told everyone about it and they would tease me endlessly. I would always ignore the fact that she started and participated in making my life a living hell. I just wanted to be her friend, and would do anything to spend time with her.

I can remember one time when I had this great collection of Barbies with the house and all the furniture. The dining room was my prized possession with all of its tiny plates, cups and silverware. I had brought all my stuff over to our Mei's house and the three of us played together. And just as I should have suspected, Mei & Lisa conspired against me, pretended to wrestle, and purposefully broke my table and chairs as they threw themselves on top of them. I was pissed and hurt. And I felt like such a sucker for even thinking that they wouldn't treat me this way.

Anyway, these memories come back today because the woman that I share PTA responsibilities with (of all things) reminds me of Lisa. Not necessarily her personality traits (although some do compare) but how she makes me feel. She makes me feel 9 years old again, and I'm giving her permission to step all over me. There are only two of us on this PTA Committee and I have done everything. Sure, she'll show up for fundraisers and help out with distributing packages, but I handle all the logistics, the money, and managing every project.

At the end of last year, I told her I was burnt out and that I wanted her to run with the next fund raiser, a candy drive. I gave her a contact name and told her to run with it. Today, she hands me a giant box of stuff and says, "Oh, this is yours. Everyone knows how horrible I am at this, so you're going to have to do it." Who the hell is everyone and if she's horrible at this stuff, why the hell is she on the PTA?????? I just said OK with this puzzled look on my face, took the box and got into my car.

That was at 9:30am, and I'm still furious. The problem is, I am such a wuss and for me to muster up the courage to someone whom I feel just bullied me, is going to take everything I have. Not sure how I'm going to address this yet but I really have to if I'm going to keep that little 9-year-old girl in the past.