Labels

I recently came across a blog, imperfect perfections, that inspired this post. What are the labels that I've assigned to myself? What labels to I allow be put on me? Some of the general labels I identify myself with are:

Mother
Wife
Daughter
Little Girl

The negative labels I identify myself with are:

Disorganized
Procrastinator
Slothy
Tries too hard
Bad skin
Aging ungracefully
Used to be pretty
Sucker
Door mat
Weak

Then there are the labels that others may put upon us. In a sense, they may sometimes be completely different than we see ourselves, whether positive or negative. I think labels are a very complicated thing for this reason. I also think whatever labels others put upon us, we allow to some degree. From the list below, I will explain. Below are the labels I feel others put upon me:

Sweet
Kind
Generous
Unconfident
Scatter-brained
Thoughtful
Ungrateful
Organized
Bitch
Selfish
Independent
Leader
Smart
Confident
Self-sufficient

As the chairperson of my daughter's PTA and as anyone's Friend, I portray someone who is a Leader, Confident and Organized. As my role of Little Girl in my family, I am Disorganized, Scatter-Brained, and Unconfident. It's very difficult to shed this identity in my family. My dh thinks I enforce these identities on them by my actions. To an extent, I think he's right.

My dh is the one who calls me some of the worst ones in the above list. And to be honest, I've never been called those things ever in my life. In fact, always the exact opposite. What does he see in me that others do not? Is he just projecting some weird emotions and identity onto me (he was physically and emotionally abused as a child) or is he the only one that sees the real me? I believe in my heart that it's the former and not the latter, however, there is a part of me that sometimes struggles with this.

Obviously, the ones I want to shed all of the negative labels, especially Ungrateful, Bitch and Selfish, but how far do I really want to go to try? Should I just allow someone, especially my partner, to think of me in this way even if I truly don't believe it myself?

My confidence has definitely grown over the years, however, I don't know if I'll ever shed my own major identity as The Little Girl Who Was Abandoned By Her Parents Who Just Wants Everyone to Like Her.

Positive labels I truly believe about myself:

Kind
Thoughtful
Empathetic
Compassionate
Obsessive
Spontaneous
Adventurous
Outgoing
Shy
Good mother
Good at sports
Analytic

Thanks for the inspiration, Iris. I hope I was as clear as you in answering these questions.