13 Things I Plan To Do While Ladybug is in School

School has begun! And in honor of my first Thirteen Thursday, I'm going to try to be a little funny. There are a TON of things I plan to do while my little Ladybug is in nursery school. But those things are pretty boring: clean out my closets, catch up on laundry, shop for groceries, go the gym, etc.

Instead, here's a list of 13 Things I Would Never Really Plan To Do While Ladybug is in School:

1. Take a nap.
2. Mess up my husband's organized closet and when he asks say, "Wow, I don't know what the hell happened in here!" (he's wayyy too organized)
3. Watch porn.
4. Smoke a joint.
5. Have an quickie with the gardner.
6. Eat a whole Entemann's Devil's Food Cake.
7. Drink a Cosmopolitan, glass of Sangria or do a shot of Lemon Vodka.
8. Drive to a dive bar and have a beer.
9. Masturbate.
10. Smoke a few cigarettes.
11. Throw out all my bills.
12. Say "FUUUUCCCCKKK" at the top of my lungs while standing out in the middle of the street (believe it or not, I rarely ever say that word).
13. Set the dog free and see if she comes back.

Happy Thirteen Thursday! :-)