Top Five on Friday -- on Saturday ?!

Well, I normally just rant about my childhood baggage and current life events on my blog, but my friend Lyndon has encouraged me to post a list: My Top 5 Long Songs (over 5 minutes). My list, of course, mainly has my "old" favorites because I like to go back and remember when I was young. Here goes:


1. Rapper's Delight by Sugar Hill Gang (7:07)

2. Jamonit by Nucleus (8:15)
(sadly, one of my favorites for nostalgic reasons)

3. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen (5:55)

4. You Remind Me (Remix version) by Mary J. Blige (5:56)
(this is one of my all-time favorite CDs - What's the 411? Remix)

5. Here We Go Let's Rock & Roll by C+C Music Factory (9:31)

6. Purple Rain by Prince (8:10)


Cheers! Thanks for the inspiration, Lyndon. I may play again next week!

Road to Recovery

Boy, am I glad the worst is now behind us! Ladybug's fever has disappeared and her energy is back. She is still pretty congested, of course, but the fever was my biggest worry.

We did see a gastroenterologist who just said that she probably had a bout with constipation and just to keep an eye on it. With toddlers, it's so hard to have them eat fiber-enriched foods and vegetables. And thankfully, she isn't lactose intolerant. I was told that typically children under 7 only have an "irritation" to lactose that they will (usually) eventually grow out of. An actual tolerance to lactose could not be diagnosed until at least 7 years of age.

So our Thanksgiving was nice and quiet. I made a small turkey, arroz con gandules, mashed potatoes, creamed corn and stuffing. Jell-O for desert with whipped cream. A nice, simple dinner for the 3 of us.

Today we are going to get out of the house for awhile and go see Happy Feet, and this weekend, I plan to do some Christmas decorating. 'Tis the season!

Pneumonia

Yep, my little Ladybug has pneumonia. Sadly, I was never so relieved in my life to hear the news. We finally got to a diagnosis. The pneumonia was most likely caused by her sinus infection that didn't go away with 10 days of antibiotics and just kept dripping into her lungs. This may or may not explain her chronic belly ache, so today we are going to see a gastroenterologist.

Now that she's had a day of antibiotics, her fever isn't so severe and her energy is coming back slowly. She's really bored at home now, always asking to go to the park or a friend's house, and then an hour or two later, she falls asleep. I'm going to keep her home a little while longer because she shouldn't be running around and playing just yet.

So tomorrow, for Thanksgiving, we're just going to have a quiet dinner at home. We're all a little disappointed that we're not going to my husband's cousin's house. I'll probably make a little turkey for us and hopefully, we'll have a nice relaxing day together.

Sitting and waiting

Ladybug has had a fever since Saturday morning. She's had stomach pain on and off for the past month, and she woke up on Saturday and vomited after I gave her some soy milk. I took her to the pediatric urgicenter at the hospital on Saturday because her doctor has been well aware of her chronic stomach pain, and finally recommended some tests (x-rays and bloodwork). Everything came out ok... ok?? What the hell is going on then? Possibly severe constipation? A stomach infection? Lactose intolerance? It's still a mystery.

So now as she awoke this morning with 104 degree temperature (even after alternating tylenol and motrin since yesterday), I'm waiting for the doctor's office to open at 9:00am. I've given Ladybug a lukewarm bath, more motrin, and have made her comfortable. It's only 7:30am. I have a stool in the fridge sample that's awaiting testing, and I just don't know what to do with myself. I just want these doctors to figure this out already.

When something like this happens, I don't know if all mothers out there feel the same way, but I start to blame myself. What did I miss? Why didn't I do x, y or z? If there was a real diagnosis than I could really find facts to blame myself with. Now, I'm just speculating that it was the milk I would leave in her sippy cup during the night or the spinach she ate or the fact that I don't focus enough on her fiber intake.

Just to make a note myself and keep my head together, her symptoms are: tummy aches on and off for the past 4 weeks, fever, stuffy nose and congestion (may not be related to anything), leg muscle pain (she will sometimes say, "Mommy, my legs hurt. I can't walk," but I don't know if she's just tired or what), mucousy stool for the past week, vomiting (on Saturday and at the onset of these symptoms).

Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers that we get to the bottom of this soon.

Growing up long ago...

I just got this email forward and felt this one was worth posting here. In reality, it wasn't as rosy as this but you get the picture. I love a little morning nostalgia...

Close your eyes, and go back
Before the Internet or PC or the MAC
Before semi-automatics and crack
Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari
Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail
way back...
way, way, way back...

I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk
Red light, Green light Red Rover...Red Rover...
Playing kickball & dodgeball until the first...no...second...no...third Streetlight came on
Ring around the Rosie London Bridge
Hot potato Hop Scotch Jump rope
Duck....duck....GOOSE!!! YOU'RE IT!!

Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for you to come home - no pagers or cell phones
Mother May I? Hula Hoops
Seeing shapes in the clouds
Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the windows open
The sound of crickets
Running through the sprinkler
Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom
Cracker jacks with the same thing
Ice pops with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend
But wait, there's more...

Watchin' Saturday morning cartoons
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, G-Force & He-Man, Schoolhouse Rock
Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges)
Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos
Fonzie.....AYYYYYYYY
Playing Dukes of Hazard
Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
Christmas morning
Your first day of school
Bedtime prayers and goodnight kisses
Climbing trees
Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky
Getting an ice cream off the Good Humor truck

A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Sleep-overs
A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH

Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from PLAYING
WORK meant taking out the garbage or doing the dishes
Your first crush
Your first kiss (I mean the one that you kept your mouth closed and your eyes OPEN)
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or hangman" in the classroom
Remember that?

Oh, I'm not finished yet...
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
So was a swig from the hose
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there

When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance, and another quarter a MIRACLE
When ANY parent could discipline ANY kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries,
and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it
When your parents took you to McDonald's and you were COOL
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited you at home
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
And some of us are still afraid of em!

Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!"
Let's go back to the time when
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do over!"

"Race issues" meant arguing about who ran the fastest
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends
Being old, referred to anyone over 20. (CRAP! I'm officially old!)
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties

Nobody was prettier than Mom
Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true

Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team
Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon
Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protector
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!

My mother sells stuff on ebay

Ebay is an interesting concept. I was hooked on it for a short time (I love to find something to obsess about). I would find things in the house, in my basement storage cabinet, and in our closets that was worthy of selling. I would put it up for bid, and watch it at almost every waking moment I could to see if people were visiting, bidding or asking questions.

I've sold a coach briefcase that I gave to my husband that he never used. I've sold some of Ladybugs clothing that she got as gifts but either she or I didn't like and I didn't care to keep in storage. I've sold some of my old work clothes that were in near perfect condition. I've sold some old wedding presents that were still in boxes and never opened. I've also sold some things I've purchased myself, didn't use or open for some reason and never cared to return. For me, it was simply a hobby not a moneymaker, and a great way to clean out some closet space.

But if you really think about it, you can kind of learn about a person by what they sell on ebay. It's kind of like how the paparazzi goes through a big star's garbage. The clothes they don't like, the items that were once favored and now no longer meaningful, the things they had high hopes for and then just sold away. You get to see the things they've owned, the things they've cared for, the things they don't like. It's a very small window into someone's life.

I really don't know my mother. I mean, I do know part of who she is -- she gave birth to me, and raised me until I was 2. I know she's extremely insecure, unsure of herself, the blacksheep of the family, boisterous, loves crab legs, potato chips, playing online video games, and to decorate/remodel her home. I know she's a little selfish in her thinking, has had one best friend since she's about 9 or 10 year old, etc. etc. I even feel like I know and understand why she sent me away to live with my grandmother. In some ways, I guess I do know a lot of things, but I know nothing about her everyday life. I don't really know what she does on her days off, what she makes for dinner, what she buys when she goes shopping. I don't know her favorite color, her favorite movie or what color the scarves are that she's crocheting for her friends. It's weird the things you take advantage of when you live someone. You know so much more about them, even more than you realize. I never really lived with my mother, so I really don't feel like I'll ever truly really KNOW her.

I've known for long time now that my mother also had an Ebay "habit" and a couple of months ago, she sent me a link to an item she had purchased. Well, I did some detective work and found her user ID. Now, I constantly check it to see what she's buying and selling. I've read the reviews on her products and all the reviews she's given. She is an ideal seller and an ideal customer. It sounds like she ships items out super fast and with super care. She likes to buy little crystal ornaments and Lancome makeup. Her user ID is even a nomenclature of her identity as a grandmother, which I found quite interesting.

Looking at this little window of items on ebay has added to her mystery. I'm thankful for this sneaky little peak into this part of her world. I wonder who gave her the large serving dish that she sold. I wonder why she bought a cranberry colored towel on ebay when that probably could have been purchased at JC Penney or something. Her pictures look professional, with backdrops and great lighting and everything. I imagine her setting the items up for pretty pictures, and taking such great time and care to send them off in neat little packages. And with every item sold, I wonder why she gave it away and found it no longer meaningful enough to have in her home.

Confessions for my dear brother

My half-brother, "A," is in high school. He is a great kid, mild mannered, pretty quiet and slightly introverted. He doesn't have a lot of friends. He spends most of his time with his mother and his two little nephews. He doesn't go out much but sometimes my father's brother or sister will take him and he'll spend the day or weekend with them. But not with me. Sadly, that's my... choice. Not because I don't like him or anything silly like that, but I have so much anger, resentment and disappointment towards my father that I just can't get past it. "A" is just a victim of my circumstance and he doesn't even know it.

Many times I've thought to myself, "Why should I make an effort with him when my father never made an effort with me." That sounds so horrible, evil and just wrong. And it's in my thoughts.

I actually avoided A's calls this weekend because I didn't want to spend time with him. "Why does he always call me last minute?!" is the only excuse I can come up with.

I wish I could say I'm sorry to him. But the problem is, I can't promise I won't do it again. I wish he didn't like me or look up to me or even call me "sister." I don't want that job. I'm bad at it. I just don't want to take part in my father's dysfunctional, crazy family when I've got my own to deal with. One is enough!

I wish I could somehow make "A" understand how I feel but to be honest, I know my behavior towards him is inexcusable. I'm always jumping on my soap box saying how my father just didn't even seem to make it right with him, to kind of make up for the nonexistent father he was to me. But here I am blowing off this little boy. This innocent kid.

"A," I am so sorry I'm not a better sister. Your father is a jerk and I shouldn't blame you for it. I don't know how to get past this. I can't even make a promise to try. I do love you but my feelings are so complicated that I'm afraid to show you that I do for fear of getting closer to Dad. Whenever I find myself getting closer to him, he does something to disappoint me. I'm protecting myself but I'm hurting you, my dear brother. I really am sorry.

My family through my uncle's pictures

Perspective is everything. Isn't it? We can grow up in the same household at the same time as everyone else, and have a different perspective on our family and our lives. Supposedly, my uncle says he grew up in an almost-perfect household. Ahem! I lived in the same house as he from the time he was about 17. Albeit a little late in the stages of his growth, I was still raised by the same people.

My grandfather was the kindest, most lovable person I will ever know. He was funny and his presence could light up a room. He was one of 13 children and everyone adored him. However, he never went to a baseball game of my uncle's. I don't remember (or remember hearing of) him ever spending time alone with his children (except for me!) because he had two jobs and worked constantly. He also had a fairly decent social life of playing cards with his buddies and brothers at least twice a week. I will never fault him from having some sort of escape and enjoying himself away from home. I think it's what kept him sane. My grandmother was controlling, anxious and not sociable, and I remember her even telling him that he could never do anything right.

Before I go on, I must say that my grandfather definitely made up for not being present in his kids lives with me and my uncle's boys. He was the one who always got on the floor with us and let us jump all over him. He was the one who took me to the park, to the movies, and came to every one of my bowling games when I was 12 and on the bowling team. He was the one who always made me laugh. He was my hero, and my light.

ANYWAY, I just thought I'd share on this blog (especially since I haven't written in awhile) the photo montage that I put together for my Uncle's 50th Birthday. It made me reflect on our family's life from his perspective of having a great person for a father but who wasn't really there, and a mother who was... not June Cleaver. I think it actually made him a great father, who is always and I mean ALWAYS there for his boys. My uncle might not be the most ambitious but he always made time for his kids. He's worked nights for most of their lives and has lost so much sleep because he does so much for them during the day, he can't sleep anymore.

So here's to you, Uncle V. By the way, I'm only in one picture in this thing... I'm about 17 with big hair. My mom is the one with the red hair and fair skin and my grandfather is the old-looking guy with the little kids (my uncle's boys). You'll be able to figure out who my grandmother is. I didn't place these pictures in chronological order for this montage, so they kind of jump around a bit. I wanted to put the right pics to the words to the song instead.

Halloween!

Halloween is my favorite holiday. No obligations to make (or eat) a big dinner, no visits with family we never see, no presents to buy and spending millions of dollars. We just dress up, knock on our neighbors doors and have fun (those are my neighbors in the background, by the way -- I'm not good at fixing pictures so unfortunately, they're gonna have to stay in).

Ladybug was Sleeping Beauty. She wanted to be Buzz Lightyear but I kinda talked her out of that. Daddy wore his mask from his Zorro costume and I wore my big hippie afro wig with Elvis-type sunglasses.

We had a blast. I live on a great street that's about 1/4 mile long and everyone comes here for trick-or-treating because our neighbors down the street transform their entire property into a real haunted house. They start decorating in September. So we walk around pretty early, and get home in time to hand out some candy ourselves. It was a good day.